If You've Ever Pretended to Be Asleep So He Wouldn't Reach for You, Read This
You Are Not Broken
If You've Ever Pretended to Be Asleep So He Wouldn't Reach for You, Read This
You're not losing desire. You're in pain — and your body learned to say no before your mind can say yes.
Written by Hannah R.
You know the feeling.
He reaches for you in the dark, and your whole body tightens before you've decided anything at all. Not because you don't love him. You do. But because last time it hurt. And the time before that.
So you pretend. You slow your breathing. You lie very still until he sighs, rolls back to his side, and the gap between you opens a little wider than the night before. Then you lie awake in that gap, holding a thought you'd never say out loud: he's going to think I don't want him. One day he's going to leave.
I lived exactly this for almost two years. You are not broken. And it was never that you stopped wanting him.
Here's what took me far too long to understand
I thought my desire had died. The truth was simpler, and kinder: it hurt. And when something hurts enough times, your body learns to say no before your mind gets a chance to say yes. The tightening, the flinch, the pretending — that isn't rejection. It's protection.
Once I understood that, everything changed. Because pain, unlike "who you are," is something you can actually address.
The things I tried first didn't work — and here's why
The drugstore lubricant felt cold and clinical, and it never touched the deeper discomfort. More wine only left me tired and a little sad. The articles told me to "communicate more," as if we hadn't talked about it enough.
What I actually needed was to feel comfortable in my own body again. Nobody had ever put it that way.
How it finally shifted
My sister brought it up. Gently. No lecture. Just a link, and one line:
"Start with the oil. Nothing goes inside. Don't overthink it."
No judgment. A door left open. That's the only reason I walked through it.
I started with the oil, exactly like she said
The first product was Restora Oil. External only — nothing internal, nothing to brace for. It felt like self-care, not a procedure, and that mattered more than I can explain.
I'd sit with it in the evening. No pressure. No expectation. Just quietly getting reacquainted with myself.
Then I realised the irritation had a cause
Next I added Drippa Gel, a gentle pH-balanced wash. Ordinary soap sits well outside the range your body wants, and that low-level irritation I'd chalked up to "just part of being a woman" wasn't inevitable at all.
Within a couple of weeks, that background discomfort quietly settled. That was the moment I let myself hope.
And when I was ready — only when I was ready
The last step was Yoni Pops, and I took my time. They're probiotic, and they support natural internal moisture for hours — so comfort is already handled, quietly, ahead of time.
The night it came together, there was no flinch. No bracing. And for the first time in longer than I want to admit — I was the one who reached for him.
The proof wasn't in the bedroom. It was on the kitchen counter the next morning.
A note, in his handwriting, left where he knew I'd find it:
"I feel like I'm getting my wife back."
I stood there and cried. Not over one night. Over the gap — the one that had widened for two years — quietly beginning to close.
You are not the only one
All three come together in one box — the Make Him Swim Combo. And if you're nervous, do what my sister told me: start with the oil.
Restora Oil · Drippa Gel · Yoni Pops
- Restora Oil — gentle external comfort, nothing goes inside
- Drippa Gel — pH-balanced wash that settles the irritation
- Yoni Pops — natural internal moisture, when you're ready
$159$114.99 AUD
Arrives in a plain, discreet box with nothing on the outside. Dispatched from Australia — this is nobody's business but yours.
P.S. — I almost didn't try it, because I'd decided the problem was me and that nothing would help. If that's the exact thought talking you out of it right now, that's the one I most want to reach. It wasn't you. It was never you.
Katoura products are for intimate comfort and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any medical condition. If you have persistent pain, please speak with your doctor. Cruelty-free · pH balanced · discreet shipping across AU & NZ.